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3/30/2021 0 Comments

Oregon Coast, Sunset, Impermanence    Buddha

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3/30/2021 0 Comments

Confluence by Drew Dillinger

​Confluence
 
 
let's meet
 at the confluence 
where you flow into me 
and one breath
swirls between our lungs
for one instant to dwell in the presence of the galaxies 
for one instant
to live in the truth of the heart
the poet says this entire traveling cosmos is
"the secret One slowly growing a body"
two eagles are mating--
clasping each other's claws
and turning cartwheels in the sky
grasses are blooming
grandfathers dying
consciousness blinking on and off
all of this is happening at once
all of this, vibrating into existence
out of nothingness
every particle 
foaming into existence 
transcribing the ineffable
arising and passing away 
arising and passing away
 23 trillion times per second--
when Buddha saw that,
he smiled
16 million tons of rain are falling every second
 on the planet
 an ocean
 perpetually falling 
and every drop 
is your body
 every motion, every feather, every thought
is your body
time
is your body,
and the infinite
curled inside like
invisible rainbows folded into light
every word of every tongue is love telling a story to her own ears
every word of every tongue is love telling a story to her own ears
 
let our lives be incense burning like a hymn to the sacred body of the universe.
 
my religion is rain
my religion is stone
my religion reveals itself to me in sweaty epiphanies
 
every leaf, every river, every animal, your body
every creature trapped in the gears of corporate nightmares
every species made extinct was once your body
 
10 million people are dreaming that they’re flying
junipers and violets are blossoming
stars exploding and being born
God is having déjà vu
I am one elaborate crush
we cry petals as the void is singing
 
you are the dark that holds the stars
in intimate distance
that spun the whirling whirling, world
into existence
 
let’s meet at the confluence
where you flow into me
and one breath
swirls between our lungs 
 
                                  Drew Dillinger

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3/30/2021 0 Comments

Thus should you look upon this changing world  Buddha

​Thus should you look upon this changing world.
All component things are impermanent. 
All component things are subject to dissolution.
See all of this world 
As a star at dawn, a bubble in a stream,
A flash of lightening in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom and a dream
 
Buddha

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2/26/2021 0 Comments

Dependent Origination : Paticca Samuppada.

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2/4/2021 0 Comments

PIMC Chants

https://www.dropbox.com/s/7biwhqw3ve0wy4a/pimc_chants.pdf?dl=0
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1/28/2021 0 Comments

Clear Comprehension

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1/28/2021 0 Comments

Bolero on one Cello

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1/4/2021 0 Comments

Brain Surgery : Jule Conover

​Robert - 
Long time.
The recent present has been a series of tightly compacted opportunities for practice, and on every step of the way has been gratitude for the Buddha's teaching, for spiritual friends, and for the clarity of the teachings learned first from you.  There are no greater gifts, and I thank you.
 
Anatta:  In a nutshell, I had headaches on the left side of my head for a month that got worse each day, compounded by falling over, episodes of imbalance and dizziness.  Looking at that pain, watching it change the feeling of everything, and really understanding it was not me, was lesson one.
Sound and humor: Aug 3. Lesson two was my hour session in the MRI machine, where the sounds became a symphony of silliness; watching mind trying to piece together in this context and make sense of what I know about music and ambient sound; deeply listening to external and internal trying to create "meaning". This weird experience culminated in my shaking with laughter as two tones of honking reminded me of Harpo Marx, which of course ravelled into numerous reminiscences of the Marx Bros.
Anicca:  Aug 9. Meeting with neurosurgeon.  Diagnosis of a brain tumor a little larger than a golf ball, sitting on the cerebellum, on/in a cerebral sinus, and draped over the tentorium.  Dr. Roehrer  said "you don't really have enough room for golf balls in your brain.  This is a big one and needs to come out."  My first thought was that this is REALLY outside the flow I am used to calling my life. Sort of a "how odd" thought moved in and took residence.  Second thought was how on earth I was going to soft pedal this to my daughter, who has been unable to discuss even advanced health care directives with me.  I never for a second felt any sort of sorrow for myself or any wonder at why.  I DID think, "ohmygod, this practice works!"  I felt compassion for the people around me, who started treating me differently, and my explanations of why I was in this particular mental space didn't sound right, even to me.  I never doubted that my intensified attention was appropriate, but talking about it would not do.  I never noticed this before, but talking about just staying in the present and attending to what's there is easily misinterpreted as denial, and that struck me as hilarious, which in turn made me look a little crazy!  So I just shut up!
Dukkha:  Aug 25.  Craniotomy (approached thru right lower edge of skull, behind right ear.  That took about 6-1/2 hours.  12 hours in the ICU.  I thought I knew what pain was!!  At some point a nurse leaned over me, touched my arm and said "just - breathe - slowly - into - the - pain" and I awoke.  Tears flowed in gratitude to her.  I was in and out of consciousness but each time I stayed awake a little longer and often remembered to be present and really look at the pain closely.  It shifted and the intensity varied it seemed, depending on the level of consciousness I was at and my ability to focus in a greater or lesser manner.  It surely did not feel personal at all.  My daughter had taped a picture of prayer flags that are in my yard, to the edge of my bed table, so I saw those when I opened my eyes - a good reminder.  Friends showed up and reminded me that this too was impermanence.  
I have a reverse question-mark shaped incision that starts an inch below my right ear, heads up and around the top of the ear.  It's a jaw-dropper as incisions go!  I have no sensation on right side of my scalp.  My head feels like it's made of carboard wrapped in plastic wrap and covered with multi layers of duct tape and sound-proof insulation.  No hearing in my right ear.  Halo traction during surgery left me with 3 little tender spots of ongoing fire.  Part of the mastoid bone was removed, the cerebral sinus the tumor had invaded was removed.  My skull is held in place with titanium clamps.  My eyes are extremely photo sensitive and somehow tied into my balance.  Bright lights and loud noises make me dizzy and tippy.  My balance is poor and may not get better.  The eye problems and numb skull and hearing may go away.  Only time will tell.  
Final pathology report results received today indicate there is no malignancy.  I will be monitored every 6 months by MRI, and look forward to the Harpo reminiscences!
When my daughter brought me home, she had this reflection to share with me... "Mom, two weeks ago when you told me you had a brain tumor, I went completely crazy thinking about life without you in it, and I stayed crazy worrying, waiting for you in surgery, waiting for you in recovery, waiting for you to be able to go home, and here we are, home."  She held her hands apart, measuring, and asked  "what was that?  Two weeks. It's gone - Where did it go? What was the point of the worry?"  I reminded her of when she was very young and liked to think about infinity and how it made her feel giddy.  I suggested that she try to look at that piece of now-gone time in the same way she looked at infinity when she was too young to attach concepts to it.  Just look at it as a whole, I told her, try not to think about it too much, and maybe something new will suggest itself to you.
 
The rain this morning left a distinct promise of fall.  A few pink baby roses remain in the back yard and they shine when the sun comes out.
 
Metta -
Jule
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12/28/2020 1 Comment

Three Stone Cutters : Heard from Rachel Naomi Remen

​Three Stone Cutters.
 
There were three stone cutters who worked side by side cutting rough stones of rock into shaped blocks which were then placed in the walls of a great cathedral. 
 
 “What are you doing?” the first stone cutter was asked. He replied, “What does it look like I am doing? All day I pick up one after another of these rough stones and shape it into a block for the cathedral”.
 
“What are you doing?” the second stone cutter was asked. He replied, “All day I pick up one after another of these rough stones and shape it into a block for the cathedral. This is a good job that provides a nice house, clothing and food for my family”.
 
 
“What are you doing”? the third stone cutter was asked. He replied, with an air of reverence, “All day I pick up one after another of these rough stones and shape it into a block for the cathedral. These blocks are building place that will be a beacon for humankind for centuries to come. They will come here and find solace and inspiration. There will be shelter and food for travelers and the poor here. It is a privilege to do my small part in such a noble undertaking”.
 
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12/27/2020 0 Comments

Wise Aspiration / Intention / Thought

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